Detox, De-Clutter and Determine Your Life

I haven’t blogged for a while, as I took a much needed break from blogging and social media in general (well not completely but yeah) in order to focus on my studies, work and getting myself better and it has definitely paid off. The burnout and lethargic feeling I was experiencing both physically and mentally over the past few months have inspired this post as a kick-start to me blogging regularly again as I feel like it’s something we should all do, regardless of how much or little we have going on in our lives.
How many times have we either heard or said the phrase “you can’t pour from an empty cup”? In order to increase our wellbeing and improve our outcomes in whatever we are busy doing, we must de-clutter, detox to remove the negative energy in our lives, in order to determine the success of our life goals. We unconsciously focus on detoxing our bodies and outwardly appearances but can often forget how our minds can impact our physical bodies, outwardly appearances and our lives as a whole.

I realised that I needed to de-clutter and detox my life when I felt drained and lethargic at the thought of social connection with others (more so than normal and completely unrelated to my social anxiety); when I had what I call the “depression pile-up” (when you have a pile of “things” to do on your to-do list and you have minimal motivation to do it all); when I realised I felt more negative energy than positive; when I felt trapped in my own life by things that I felt I couldn’t control.

So, here’s what I did and would suggest anybody in need of a “life detox” to consider:

1. Be Self-Reflective
“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams; Who looks inside, awakes.”
– Carl Jung
Taking control of your psychological wellbeing requires you to be self-reflective, honest and authentic. You have to be true to yourself in order to attribute responsibility to and differentiate between what faults are our own and what is down to others.  Try to remember that we always have a part to play and there is always something we can do to change the situation we either place ourselves in or find ourselves in. Even if there is nothing we could have done to change the situation, the responsibility is ours to do something about it and regain the control we have found ourselves missing.
2. Identify Your Goals
“If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.”
– Laurence J. Peter
Whatever it is in life, we need to know a destination/ thing/ goal that we are aiming for so that we can measure our progress and know that we are there. Have you ever really asked yourself: “Where do I want to be?” and “Who do I want to be?” These questions can be quite difficult and I find it easier to ask myself “Where do I not want to be?” and “Who do I not want to be?” in order to eliminate some possibilities. You may not know how to get to where you want to be, or who you want to be but you need to know whether your daily practices are in alignment with what you want. Your daily practices should be helping you towards your goals and not hindering you. For example, if one of your goals is to be successful in life, spending most of the day procrastinating could hinder your achievement for that goal (We can all be so guilty of that!). It doesn’t just have to be career or life goals. Some of us may aspire to be more grateful or kind etc. For example, if you want to be a more honest friend, finding yourself in the middle of drama all the time may be hindering you from being that.
Now it’s time for me to be self-reflective…In order to find out what I valued most in life I took the 15 minute VIA survey to help me understand my core characteristics and best qualities. Take yours here !
After completing the survey my top 5 strengths were Honesty (Presenting oneself in a genuine way and acting in a sincere way; being without pretence; taking responsibility for one’s feelings and actions); Humility (Letting one’s accomplishments speak for themselves); Kindness (Doing favours and good deeds for others; helping them; taking care of them); Judgment (Thinking things through and examining them from all sides); Perseverance (Finishing what one starts; persevering in a course of action in spite of obstacles). I think that sums me up quite well and I’m hoping those who know me well would agree. These are some of the values that I would say define me and that I need to make sure are always in my thoughts when I do the things I do.  My top 3 weaknesses were Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence (Noticing and appreciating beauty); Spirituality (Knowing where one fits with the larger scheme); Bravery (Speaking up for what’s right and acting on convictions even if unpopular). These I can understand and I think have a lot to do with my depression and social anxiety, however this is a reminder to myself not to allow these to define me but to work harder to strengthen and practice these values.
“You cannot consistently perform in a manner which is inconsistent with the way you see yourself.”
– Zig Ziglar
3. Cut Toxic People Out 
“Detox your mind, body and your contact list.”
– SupaNova Slom
Detoxing can also become necessary when our values become misconstrued or put aside in the place of or because of someone else. We have to remind ourselves to focus on our own values and allow other people to be an addition and not a replacement in  our lives. That’s also why it is important to remind ourselves that it is never a bad thing to admit that we do not need certain people in our lives as they bring more negative (or take more away) than they do positive (or give). Sometimes being careful with who you let into your life and deleting someone’s number or distancing yourself can be the hardest but most effective way to de-clutter your life. You also don’t have to completely cut someone out but you can be there for them and love them from afar.
“Don’t hold onto someone who’s leaving otherwise you won’t meet the one who’s coming.”
– Carl Jung
It’s completely necessary for us to do this because by holding onto something that isn’t good for us, we may miss out on or not have space for oncoming blessings that could benefit us. We must get rid of the weeds in order to make our garden of life look beautiful, healthy and in order for it to be able to flourish and grow.
“It isn’t true that you should follow one path. Listen to your own truth.”
– Ram Dass 
4. Take Time Out
“When people don’t take time out, they stop being productive.”
– Carisa Bianchi 
It is OK for you to acknowledge when something is “too much” and to do something about it. In fact, it’s admirable. Sometimes we can become so involved in something or someone (i.e. TV, social media, people) that our judgments are completely clouded and taking a step back to realise how much effort we put into things may shine some light and give us clarity and headspace to figure out what to do. Like our bodies, our mind needs time to heal. This doesn’t mean you have to put everyone and everything on hold because some opportunities do not last forever, but in order to make the most out of something we really should be in a good place or at least trying to be.
Think about how your phone shows the percentage of battery usage on apps – is the amount of energy you are putting into things and people in your life reflective of where you want to be, how you want to be and who you want to spend time with? Basically, are you putting in the right amount of time, energy, effort into the right things/people and is that hindering or helping us? If you simply can’t get rid of anything, try allowing yourself at least 10mins out of your day for meditation or mindfulness activities (i.e., apps, colouring books), a long bath with bath salts, a deep clean of your house/environment –  anything to allow you take time out and rebuild your own energy again. Whatever it is, it’s important to learn emotional self-defense by either reducing or taking away the negative things or doing more positive things for a period of time in order to improve our psychological wellbeing.
5. Be Consistent! 
“For changes to be of any true value, they’ve got to be lasting and consistent.”
– Anthony Robbins
For any change to be lasting and beneficial, it has to be consistent! We have to do these things regularly in order to see benefits – all the time and not just when things are shit! You can’t eat one salad and expect to lose a significant amount of weight (although if there ever became a way I would totally be up for that). Try to make it a habit to take time out for yourself and do what you need to do in order to keep your headspace cleared and your life fulfilled!
“Your ability to discipline yourself to set clear goals, and then to work towards them everyday will do more to guarantee your success than any other single factor.”
– Brian Tracy

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